Stupid and Crazy — I May Have Hit On a Crazy Stupid Idea

I’ll take crazy over stupid any day. — Joss Whedon
Embrace the power of “and.” — Paul  Krendler

In theory, doing the same thing over and over again is crazy, like a repeating decimal.  Ten divided by three has an answer, I’m told, but it involves infinite digits, and my calculator only goes up and down so far. — Dave Alexander

No, it’s not a trap. It’s just an opportunity for Master Skywalker and his father to bond.

This is a short post, since real life has been a lot of fun this weekend.  I have figured out sme things: Bill Schmalfeldt won’t change, and the Lickspittles and Zombies (two excellent hair bands, but don’t bother with their later albums) are not going to change either.
As I said in previous posts, you can only change your own behavior, so I’m changing mine:
In the future I will encourage Bill Schmalfeldt to post here — not just comment, but post.   If he agrees, he can send me stuff at dgalexander1963 (at) gmail DOT com.   I’ll look it over and post as long as it meets standards which are pretty simple: No name calling. No poo-poo stuff.
So, now I have to be fair, and say that any comments TO Bill, must also meet these standards.

Yeah.  This seems like a pile of mess, and I’m wading into it with both feet.  Why?
Because what we have now, doesn’t work.  The Lickpittles and Zombies can’t actually visit Bill’s pages for fear of malware and viruses.  Bill says that there are no viruses.  But of course, lots of people don’t trust Bill, so there’s that.
If anybody sees any virus here, let me know.  I wash my hands often, use Purell, and avoid contact with mucous membranes (who opened for “The Troggs in 1967.)

The Troggs: “Always be caeful to dress well on picture day”

Oh, one more thing.  I never delete.  Anything here better be pretty well thought out from the lawsuit perspective.  That goes for everybody.  I think I’m on solid ground on saying you are responsible for your own stuff.  I’m not driving you to he courthouse because of something you said here.  I’m talking to you Krendler.  I’d have to find you first, anyway.
Have fun.
Posted in Uncategorized | 52 Comments

Thomas Paine Sez: Happy Independence Day

Thomas Paine

Posted in Uncategorized | 2 Comments

That Didn’t Take Long: North & South Carolina Shark Attacks Blamed on Global Warming

Dave Alexander (formerly ukuleledave):

Apparently the Carolinas are filled with delicious, yet slow waders. It’s not Global Warming, but this writer thinks it might be the “Duffus Factor.”

Originally posted on Watts Up With That?:

Guest Post by Bob Tisdale

There has been a series of shark attacks off the Carolina coasts. As of last count, the number is 11 shark bites since mid-May.

As one might have expected, from mainstream media’s let’s-see-what-we-can-blame-on-global-warming department comes the CBSNews article “Strange” spike in shark attacks puzzles experts. The news report includes (my boldface):

The recent spate of shark attacks has left many beachgoers nervous.

Dr. Samuel Gruber, the director of the Bimini SharkLab research facility in the Bahamas, says the spike in attacks suggests something strange is going on.

“The trend is normally zero or one attack in that area in any one year,” said Gruber.

Theories as to why this is happening range from time of day, to bait fishing, sea turtle migration, lunar cycles and global warming.

Whose theories? The author doesn’t say.

Maybe, just maybe, there’s another factor at work. Let’s call…

View original 219 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

Remember That Post About Bill Leaving?

rosanna rosanna danna gif


For a while there, it looked like Bill Schmalfeldt was going to put down his keyboard and take a break.  Maybe that’s my optimism talking. Patriot-Ombudsman is back up.  Expect him to figure out a way to get back on Twitter for the umpteenth time. Bill has now apparently expanded his lawsuit to include other folks including Roy Schmalfeldt — who claims to be a relative of Bill, and Scott Hinkley who has been doxxed by Bill to be “agiledog.”

There may be more folks involved.  I’m sure it will be on PACER, Hogewash and BillySez soon.

(Whenever I type out BillySez, I miss the “z” accidentally hit the key just to the right,  It makes me cringe.)

Things blew up the other night on this blog and at BillySez.  The cops came.  We had beer cans everywhere.  The carpet had to be thrown out.  I still don’t know who stole the flat screen TV.  The dog still looks sick.

I’m grateful for the thoughtful answers to yesterday’s post.  Some folks really put their hearts into it.  Dave Edgren wrote a very thoughtful post in two parts.

My family used to think I wasted a lot of time on that “Hog” thing.  Now I’m spending more time writing about it.  Thanks for your time spent here.  I’m not going to post my stats, but it looks like people came here over the last few days and poked around a bit. Thanks.  I hope what I write today won’t change your opinion of me.

Part One: So, What the Hell is Up With This Guy?bill cartoon

Bill Schmalfeldt is apparently not going to stop what he’s doing.  Not without a lot of help. His best possible helper just died.

Gus Baily was one of the writers who took a stab at psychoanalyzing Bill:

I don’t think It is a troll. It is a sociopath of less than ordinary intelligence; not a good combination. It does not have a functioning behavior adaptation function. It is convinced it is right and fighting the good fight. It is incapable of accepting that it is capable of making any error in judgment or action. It is a beast with a God complex; completely absent of noticeable humanity.

What is the endgame? Obedience to the rule of law. full stop

Avenger Watcher:

If everyone involved but Bill dropped off the internet tomorrow, bill would have a new “community” he’d be entering by the weekend. And then, being the person we “know him to be”.

Bill Schmalfeldt:

It doesn’t matter what I say to these people. They’ve created a Pro Rasslin’ bad guy, they magic markered up their cardboard signs and they mean to use them.

Part Two: Am I Excusing Him?

I don’t know what Bill Schmalfeldt has going on upstairs, but I understand that he does not see the world in the way the rest of us perceive it.  No doubt in my mind he figure he is the victim in all of this.  He feels justified in the things he’s done which are abhorrent to others.

I also recognize that he escalates very quickly from calm to nuclear.  This is not a rational reaction.   I see this kind of thing enough to tell some other things about it.  Bill can barely see it happening, and once it starts, he can’t stop it.  Rage makes it harder to process ideas and information, and it messes with memory.  Those who call it a Schmeldtdown are pretty close to correct, I think.

Am I excusing him?  Hell no.  He jumps back into this crap every day of his own free will.  I have practically begged him to put the computer away and find another hobby. He refuses. He also refuses to drop legal action regarding John Hoge and others, and he refuses to stop reading the blogs that mention him.

BillySez, Thinking Man’s Zombie and others would need to find something else to do if only Bill would go silent and stop reading/reacting.

Why does he do this?  I’m guessing that at some point in his life Bill Schmalfeldt fell into a behavior pattern which demands that he be a victim, and other be the abusers.  This is how the world seems to be, and this is the only thing that seems normal to him.  You can quietly wonder at how this could happen.  

Am I excusing him?  Not at all.  The doxxing, the attempts at getting people fired, the extortionist email…these are all his doing.  These things take planning and time to execute. In that time, most rational men would look themselves in the mirror and be ashamed.

Part Three: I Can’t Control The Behavior of Others

In a previous post I mentioned that we can’t actually control Bill’s behavior.  He does a poor enough job on that front.  The truth is, the Lickspittles and Zombies can only control their own behavior, and some of the time y’all are pretty tough.  Yes, I know he acts like a regular Schmalfeldt (sorry Roy) most of the time, or all of the time, but it seems like people want to pitch tomatoes at him rather than solving the problem.

Bill Schmalfeldt tried to get me fired from I job that I really like.  I’ve got every reason to be mad at him.  I am not suggesting that anybody let him off the hook.  Lawsuits need to be fought to the death.

Part Four: In Which I Tell You Another Reason to Moderate Your Own Tone

“If you rassle with pigs, you’re gonna get dirty,” my grandma always used to say, in between puffs on her pipe.  Or maybe it was on Beverly Hillbillies,  Dunno.  Good show.

I think that all the anger takes a toll on the Zombies and Lickspittles.  Can you really call somebody “Shakey” without debasing yourself?  Calling him fat doesn’t strengthen your argument, or improve your relationship with your Aunt Minerva, who tips the scales at 320.

Anger not only provokes an angry response in others, but it affects you as well.  Some people really get nasty, and I pray that it doesn’t have an affect of our side.  Hell, I’ve gotten nasty — or at least as nasty as I can be.

If this situation has caused an emotional response in you — which you don’t like, consider what I’m saying: Only you can change your own behavior, thought patterns and words.

If you read Part Two: Am I Excusing Him  carefully, you see I’m indicating that Bill’s issues are either psychiatric or at least long-term personality disorders.  I don’t diagnose, cause I’m not a doctor.  And this is my personal opinion, so don’t sue me Bill.  

Under no theory of behavior do I see a prescribed rational response to be “yell at the guy.” Honestly, that doesn’t work with assholes.  Ever really get into it with a real life asshole? Did yelling, making fun of his deformities or giving him a nickname help?  When the cops arrived, did they use the same tactics?

Bill is a professional button-pushing troll.  He doesn’t deserve your pity, or mine.  Just because he’s a jerk, the rest of us can still be normal.  Good luck.

Posted in Uncategorized | 30 Comments

How Can We Get the “Bill Schmalfeldt Situation” to Go Away?

Optimism – the doctrine or belief that everything is beautiful, including what is ugly. —Ambrose Bierce

Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. — Douglas Adams

For years now, readers of Hogewash and other blogs have been aware of Bill Schmalfeldt. He has doxed people, tried to get folks fired, and generally been a pest.  He published my publicly available but embarrassing financial information on Twitter, and tried to get my employer to fire me over using work computers to leave mild comments about him at Hogewash.

Bill’s wife passed away a few weeks back.  I actually thought this might force a change in his attitude, and a small change in the way people relate to him.  Didn’t work.  Within days, everybody was back to old habits.

I am suggesting ways this can end.  Someone is wrong on internet

Part One: We’re Not Crazy, but We Must Act as If the Other Guy Is

Let me try to explain a concept from mental health and relate it to this situation. (I’m not calling anybody crazy.) Years ago when I was hired to work with the mentally ill, they told me something profound:

“It doesn’t matter what they say, as long as they’re doing what you want.”

In other words, if someone calls you an asshole while following directions, that might be the best they can manage. In a lot of situations, you can’t have success.  The best you can hope for is cooperation.

Another important concept: “You can’t make people do things.” In very rare situations, you can force people to bend to your will.  Nazi Germany, Stalin and such.  Sometimes you can coerce or you can change someone’s surface behavior.  Coach can make you run laps.

But if you are looking for real change, you can’t force other people.  This is why when Bill Schmalfeldt demands that folks do something “or else,” people laugh.  It is also the reason Bill Schmalfeldt does not agree to stop his behavior.

Demanding that he stop – even if you have some moral or personal authority over him – will not make him stop.  Would it work on you?

Please don’t sue me “” Your cartoon is great!

Part Two: This Probably Won’t Work

There is the slimmest of chances that it can end without bloodshed, death, lawsuits and mass hysteria.  It requires the cooperation of most every Lickspittle, Zombie, Schmalfeldt, Krendler, Grady and Hoge.

People have been trying to get Bill Schmalfeldt to accept responsibility for his internet writings and actions.   Is that really what you want?  I thought folks wanted him to go away.  If that’s the behavior you want, please ignore what he says.  

I know that’s hard, because what he says is all of his internet presence.  To us, there is NO OTHER Bill Schmalfeldt except what he writes on the internet.  But if you want him to “go away,” you have to accept that there are certain things that he won’t do.  He will never apologize for everything in such a way that will make everyone happy.  Stop trying for victory over the troll.  He’s not Imperial Japan, and you don’t have a nuke.  Settle for cooperation.  What he might do is leave us the hell alone.

Bill Schmalfeldt also has to think about what he wants.  I’m pretty sure he wants certain web sites to disappear.  A more reasonable request would be for web sites to stop mentioning him.  After a period of time, his online reputation will improve, provided that Bill generates new content which is not dirtied by all the crap of the last few years.

Part Three: A Message to Bill Schmalfeldt

Eventually Bill, the websites which tracked your movements will fall away.  Ever google something and get a “404 error?”  I think Bill wants the bad stuff to become a “404 error.”

What do you suppose John Hoge and all the people who have been pestered by Bill Schmalfeldt want?  Let me take a guess.  John Hoge has been working to get a Peace Order.  Some of the doxxing victims have asked for a similar document in their states.  In some cases, without a threat of physical violence, no PO can be issues.   Bill Schmalfeldt should allow John Hoge to get a Peace Order without objection.    All the doxxees should get a promise that Bill will leave them alone, and that Bill will stop trying to identify pseudonymous commenters online.

I honestly have lost track of the lawsuits, but that stuff can be figured out.  Hoge seems ready to assert his right through the courts.  The ram has touched the wall.  Nothing I’ve said changes that.

Part Four: The Part That Comes After Part Three

Primarily, both Bill and the Zombie hoard need to accept the fact that this will never end if what each side wants is the other to say “You’re right, I was a jerk.  I totally give up. I will do everything you say.”  The question for each side is to fully examine what success looks like.  Maybe for each side, cooperation is good enough.

I think that if Bill knits, writes about Parkinson’s, runs an internet radio station or two and leaves Hoge, Krendler etc. alone then the various folks reading this will get another subject to discuss.  Hey, that Kimberlin character is still interesting.

I can’t speak for Bill, Krendler, Grady the Zombies or anyone else, of course, but I find that the best way to start a conversation is to throw some stuff against the wall and see if it sticks.  Please comment below and give positive ideas.

Suppose It Works? <– Tune in Friday morning for that!

From the comments: (Fornicarious)

His articles sparked no discussion to speak of, and to the extent he commented on others’ work…no one cared.

So he has cast himself as a villain, because it gets him attention. Better reviled than ignored, I suppose.

Posted in Stupid and Evil | Tagged , | 63 Comments

Not Everything Is A Blessing

Dave Alexander (formerly ukuleledave):

We often talk about events and say “That’s a God thing.” Sure, God gives us blessings. He also apparently allows us to taste bitterness.

Originally posted on The Isaiah 53:5 Project:


A guest post from Mustard Seed Budget

Many things are said to be blessings, but not all comes from God. If you swallow the wrong stuff, it will be bitter. I guess that’s why Rom. 12:2 says we should pray for discernment. The fact that the majority says something is good does not mean that it is in fact good. As human beings, we want to receive true good from God, not a something that looks like it.

Comic source: pinterest

View original

Posted in Uncategorized | 1 Comment

So You’ve Been Doxxed by Bill Schmalfeldt, What’s Next?

If You Doxx Me I Will Become More Powerful Than You Can Imagine

“Bill Schmalfeldt is clearly a threat only to those who easily suffer lulz muscle cramps. ” — Dave Alexander

bill cartoon

“Be well.”

(If you don’t know who Bill Schmalfeldt is, well lucky you.  If you want to know more, I suggest you click here, here or here.  Or just google the guy’s name.)

Bill Schmalfeldt thinks that identifying the pseudonymous online commenters who write about him helps him.  Lately he’s been on a tear, identifying one commenter three times before finally clicking on their name and finding their blog.  He actually posted pictures of the wrong people and accused them of harassment.

My advice to anyone recently outed is below — look for the big bold font at the bottom of this page.

If you or I had anonymous folks talking about our lives, we’d wonder who they are too.  Of course, you and I have not published virtual Cub Scout audio porn, or tried to sell books detailing out brave fight against right-wing nut jobs, or tried to extort strangers online, so we don’t draw many anonymous or pseudonymous online critics.

So what good is it to doxx somebody?  It’s pretty clear Bill really wants to know who Paul Krendler is.  He’s the individual behind Thinking Man’s Zombie.  He’s trying to sue Krendler, and thinks Krendler might be a guy named Patrick Grady.  Schmalfeldt is using his doxing of others to try to get someone to “flip” on their associates.

Here’s what he wrote to me:

 Now that I have your name and address, I am considering adding you to the list of defendants in the incipient lawsuit. This is not a quid pro quo, or an “extortionate threat” as your daddy might say, Lickspittle. And this is CERTAINLY not a FAILDOX, is it?  And with a long, long list of defamatory comments.  But I would be inclined to think if you in less severe terms if you were to answer a question or two for me.


Police Sketch of Paul Krendler – Courtesy: Sheriff, Davidson County, NC

Here’s the thing: That was last February.  Nothing has happened to me except that I’ve been inspired to write about his online foibles.  I have not flipped on my compatriots – in part because I don’t know who they are!  I wouldn’t identify them if I could, but Bill thinks there is a cabal of tightly coordinated conspirators using their web of contacts to harass him.  Mostly it’s just a bunch of folks pointing and laughing.  It’s a group that grows every day that he makes a fool of himself.

He has been contacting law enforcement lately, but even those contacts seem weak.  He can’t report a crime, because nobody is actually committing a crime against him.  He suggested that he was threatened because someone predicted that Schmalfeldt wouldn’t change until he is forced to change or he (Schmalfeldt) is dead.  His lawfare attempts have been pretty poor.

Now to the subject of Bill’s late wife.  I think it is reprehensible that some folks would use a doctored picture of Gail Schmalfeldt as their avatars.  It was never right, and now that she’s dead, there’s even more reason to leave her out of it.  On the other hand, it’s not illegal.  I’m not going to ask folks to leave this blog just because of an avatar.  John Hoge is apparently not going to ask folks to leave his blog over the issue.  Folks are doing it because it bothers Bill.  If he is so wound up about a picture that he makes strategic mistakes like – oh, emailing the cops 5-6 times, well it probably that is good.  Just like when people call him “Shakey.”   I won’t do it, but I won’t condemn others for doing it.  This guy has done much worse, and to far nicer people.


“Bill? Is that you Bill?”

Bill also gets really upset at the use of pictures of the salt monster from Star Trek, or pictures of zombies from The Walking Dead.  I don’t know why. Maybe he could just NOT go to websites with that stuff on them?

John Hoge explains his understanding of the law on this point:

Under the Communications Decency Act (47 U.S.C. § 230), I may not be held responsible for the content of comments submitted by other persons to this blog. Also, under § 230(e)(3), I cannot be subjected to any state prosecution or civil liability for those comments either. Thus, under federal law, someone who believes that comments on this blog are defamatory or harassing or otherwise offensive must take it up with the commenter(s) directly and not with me. If the Cabin Boy™ has a problem with my avatar, he can try to hold me accountable. If his problem is with someone else, he must take it up with him or her. He may not trouble me about it. I’m not obliged to deal with his dispute with a third party.

John Hoge and Aaron Walker have taken the brunt of Team Kimberlin abuse.  Walker apparently lost his job because TK contacted his employer.  Hoge has been battling for a Peace Order, battling to enforce a Peace Order and defending himself over stupid accusations for years.  If they suggest a change in tactics, I’ll follow their lead. Krendler is in a form of jeopardy, since he has been named in a lawsuit along with a real life person named Grady.  If either of those two guys needed the cooperation of Lickspittles/Zombies regarding online strategy, I’d be happy to help.  Mostly I hope the Lickspittles and Zombies can avoid making life more difficult for those who are being sued.

My advice to the newly identified: Don’t panic.  

And don’t let him rattle you.  Bill Schmalfeldt uses sexually charged vocabulary which is unsettling.  That’s his plan.  Lately he accuses the victim of “being naughty” or “doing bad things.”  He is grooming — no different than a pedophile.  Of course since he’s writing to adults, and what he wants is Krendler’s identity, it’s not the same.  Just don’t overreact.  

If you want to drop out of sight, and if a new individual starts commenting online soon after you leave, that’s one strategy.  Cover your tracks.  Use a new persona associated with NOTHING in your private life.  Or you could associate your new persona with bread crumbs which link up to anybody you know who is as pig headed and litigious as Schmalfeldt.    

Drop out of this issue altogether if you need to.  There are plenty of windmills on the internet if this thing is too hot.  I almost wrote “there are plenty of white whales,” but that was too easy.   

Or, come out from the shadows.  Change your online name to your real name, at least for this part of the internet.  Don’t fear him, and especially don’t show him fear.  Bullies live on fear, like some creatures live on salt.  Bill Schmalfeldt is clearly a threat only to those who easily suffer lulz muscle cramps.  Don’t read him within two hours of swimming and you should be fine. 

Will this necessarily change your online behavior? Are you going to say the same things you said before when you were anonymous?  Will you say them more tactfully?  Are you going to use the salt monster?  Your choice, as always.  

Of course, Bill Schmalfeldt could sue us all.  That might be a bluff which needs to be called.  I stand behind the things I’ve said — as statements of fact or constitutionally protected opinion.  

On the other hand, if he uses Twitter to threaten you, get his latest handle shut down.   If it goes to far, consider getting a Peace Order/Protection Order/12-Gauge.  All three are for self-protection.  The last one isn’t really necessary.  


Posted in Stupid and Evil | Tagged , | 42 Comments