Tag Archives: Bill Schmalfeldt


The Emily Litella Award for Excellance in Journalizm has been awarded to Bill Schmalfeldt.Image result for emily litella never mind meme

Schmalfeldt spent a day claiming that MJ, aka Sonora Conservative was a pedophile named Michael David Jackson.

He isn’t.


Hello. My name is MJ Rodriguez.

10387096_10152649081196694_3994743247355020345_oWhat a handsome devil I am!  I’ve always taken pride in my ability to look good.  Something Bill Schmalfeldt would never know or understand.

Anyway, it appears Bill found me after searching really hard (*yawn*) and now, he has made some “demands”.

The rest of it is here, at the Sonoran Conservative blog. Refresh and follow as MJ promises updates.

Bill considers this a victory, of sorts. Let me explain why it isn’t. 

  • Once again Bill Schmalfeldt put himself in jeopardy, smearing someone by portraying them as a criminal. Not actually the first time for that stunt.

  • He has “outed” an individual who seems to know his rights and does not give a damn about Bill’s coercive demands.

  • That person is not afraid.

Gus and Dave Try to Walk Bill Schmalfeldt Off the Cliff

For context go to this post. Bill Schmalfeldt has faildoxxed a sex offender. He is using the individuals name and picture.


Gus sent this along, and I heartily endorse his thoughts. — Dave 


I come today not as a member of Team Free Speech (TFS), but as a caring intellect. I realize you won’t accept my advice; but I am compelled to give it in this public forum.

You’ve got the wrong person. Not only for all the reasons Krendler lays out in his post…


…but because I know that several folks who don’t think very kindly of you have spent the last 36(?) hours baiting you and laughing at you behind the scenes.

I am only peripheral to their conversations; but suffice it to say that several “little birdies” have sung the most outlandish songs that correspond to your online behaviour with high correlation and causation. That is, they’ve been studiously playing to your confirmation bias to spin you up for their own amusement and your own peril.

Now, notwithstanding the merits of their actions, you have the wrong MJ. I don’t know who the right MJ is, but being aware of the reaction of the MJ you seek to shame, you’ve definitely got the wrong guy(?).

Please, stop your attacks; they are misdirected and will only make your life more miserable. I pray that the Lord will grant you wisdom.



I’d just like to note that nearly every data point which gives you reason to think you have found MJ, could in fact be an example of you being deftly manipulated. Played like a violin.  

There apparently is an individual named Michael David Jackson, and it is pretty likely that once he finds out about you, he’ll be upset. Your greatest fear should not be from John Hoge, or one of his readers slashing your tires. We know that really never happened.

But right now you’re playing with an unknown individual. Pluck any individual off a list of sex offenders — and you will find someone with anger, I’m sure. 

You have some court dates coming up, and documents to produce, or destroy, depending on your mood. This takes time. For the sake of your finances, and apparently your liver…please focus on the things which will help you. 

If you choose to ignore this advice, I’ll understand. 



Private Detectives May Already Be…

The following is a work of Fiction, or Parody, or Fair Use…or whatever legal excuse Bill Schmalfeldt used to avoid trouble for photoshopping a guy’s face on a porn picture. If he can avoid penalties, anybody can:

Private Detectives may already be in Myrtle Beach, SC, using cameras and video recorders to document the activities of a civil litigant whose life partner says his physical condition is deteriorating. After more than a decade of ups and downs, his degenerative condition has improved greatly, which is exactly what degenerative conditions do not do, and now that it is a factor in a lawsuit.

We take you now to the hotel in question:

Sweety #1: Sweety? I’ve been thinking.

Sweety #2:  Yes?

Sweety #1: What if that bad man has hired someone to follow us on the beach? In the gift shops?

Sweety #2: You mean to see if I can get around? I hadn’t thought of that.

Sweety #1: A PI could be in this very hotel.

Sweety #2: Or even hiding in this room. Like in the closet.

Sweety #1: No, we both were just in there. But an investigator could be in the room, recording our every move.

Sweety #2: I want a copy of the recording…

Sweety #1 and Sweety #2: For the podcast! (giggles.)

Sweety #2: Look under the bed.

Sweety #1: No, YOU look under the bed.

Sweety #2: Okay! Let’s BOTH look under the bed. On the count of three, we hang our heads over the side of the bed! (Giggle.)

Sweety #1 and Sweety #2: One…two…

Sweety #2: Okay stop. I’m too scared.

Sweety #1: 1,2,3!!!!



under bed

Ooopsie, poopsie!





If someone posted this Tweet about you, would you want to know what they meant by “security?”  You know, vague threats are still threats.

Oh, and if you’re reading this, and there is no Tweet above these words, it means the message was deleted by a serial deleter of Tweets, or Twitter caught up with his shenanigans.  For the record, here’s a picture I have saved:


For the background, Google Bill Schmalfeldt. He’s famous for his failed lawsuits, and poor reading comprehension. The Encyclopedia Dramatica has a neat trip down memory lane.

If you choose to comment, please remember that you and you alone are responsible for your words. That is also true of Bill Schmalfeldt, whose own writings tell a odd story.

The author is responsible for his or her own words.




The Thing About Forms

In the Hoge v. Kimerlin et al. case, the Kimberlins filed a notice to the court with this charming section:


Apparently there was a form which needed to be submitted, and they couldn’t even be bothered to gather up the addresses and phone numbers of their potential witnesses.

As for evidence, the Kimberlin’s have a similar casual response:

lots of stuff

Scores of documents. Bushel baskets of stuff. 

For his part, John Hoge’s documents seem to be listed neatly on his response to the court. I imagine his documents will be starched and pressed.  Separated by topics, defendants and counts. 

Mr. Schmalfeldt — whose recent court filing looks remarkably similar to the Kimberlin’s document quoted above — Mr. Schmalfeldt is equally casual about caring to provide the court the simplest of specific information.

Keep up the work, Team Kimberlin. Good job. You look ready. 

A Window into the Character of a Comedian

Kathy Griffin deserved to be fired for this photo. She’s been let go from her once a year CNN gig, but this will probably boost the rest of her so-called career. If you’ve ever paid money to have Kathy Griffin try to make you laugh, you were overcharged at any price.

Lately, internet comedian Bill Schmalfeldt has been replaying his most well-known comedy sketches on his podcast.

I’ve reviewed Bill Schmalfeldt comedy before, and have concluded that these recordings are being replayed not to fill time on a podcast, but because Bill Schmalfeldt believes this is creatively funny:

BILL 1.png

Another sample, from an entirely different recording:


And this:


Yeah. That last one included fictional dialogue between a nine and 11 year old. In Schmalfeldt’s defense, his comedy is based upon the idea that these are the feavered ravings of right wingers. In other words, while Schmalfeldt typed the words, these are the thoughts of conservatives — or so Bill figures. Other Schmalfeldt comedy classics feature a white upscale family discovering that the new neighbors are black, but not before Schmalfeldt’s racist character calls the man of the house “boy.” Such hi-jinks.

Why bother? Because nobody will make you listen to these. If you don’t like his podcast then don’t listen.

Bill Schmalfeldt is currently suing a handful of people over their online treatment of him. It will come down to the law, which is not on his side.

But Bill Schmalfeldt wants it to be about the character of the really mean, vicious people who are terrible. He figures this is about character.courtroom-artist

 You can tell the character of someone simply by figuring out what they think is funny. Whether that means holding the simulated bloodied head of the president, or imagining cub scouts engaged in anal sex…comedy is the window into the comedian’s character.


The links go to court documents filed by Schmalfeldt in a lawsuit over the stated opinion of one individual that the recordings were, child pornography. My opinion is that they are not, as the recordings are unlikely to cause anything within the listener except revulsion.