Transcript of Trump Deposition

Meuller: So, when did you first think of firing the FBI Director?

 

Trump: You know. It’s in my calendar, but gosh darn. I can’t seem to find it anywhere.

 

Mueller: Did you ever meet with Russians about getting dirt on Secretary Clinton?

 

 

Trump: Gosh, you mean like the kinda dirt you wipe off with a wet rag?

Mueller: No, like opposition research? From the Russians.

Trump: Yeah….aaaaaah….

 

Trump: …Nope. I got a copy of that stuff Hillary bought, but we never got anything on Hillary. 

Mueller: Did you obstruct an investigation into Russian meddling in the presidential election?

 

Trump: You’re still here, aren’t you, Bob? 

 

 

 

At this point, President Trump’s lawyers served Mueller with a subpoena for thousands of missing Hillary emails, Anthony Weiner’s hard drive [no, the other one] all missing FBI communications on the investigation, copies of subpoenas related to all individuals under investigation by Mueller and an original VHS copy of the Star Wars Holiday Special.