It’s a Wheelchair

Or a Mobile Command Post: 


I wish Bill Schmalfeldt many miles of good service from his Mobile Command Center.  I encourage Bill to spend many hours with podcasting, writing and composing comedy in the high quality foam padded wheeled Mobile Commend Post.

I also wish him luck on his journey of self-awakening.


He really does have a lot of issues to work through.


This entry was posted in Free Speech, Parkinson's Disease, Really, Really Stupid and Evil, Uncategorized and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

23 Responses to It’s a Wheelchair

  1. Neal N. Bob says:

    He’ll wind up abandoning it when he gets thrown out of the flophouse.

    Liked by 5 people

  2. crawford421 says:

    My prediction:

    Johnny Walker fumes ignited by a spark from an o!d Mac, with the fire sustained by rendered fat.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. BusPassOffice says:

    walmart sells a 106 dollar model that looks very very similar to that chair..

    Liked by 2 people

    • I bought one used off Craigslist for 60. I used it for 6 months., even at work. After a few months I saw that my arms were getting a huge workout. Put a big guy like me in a wheelchair, add carpet, or any kind of incline, and it is hard to move.

      Liked by 5 people

      • w says:

        The new wheel chair was supposed to be a prop. He bought it in anticipation of wheeling into the Maryland courtroom. Bill’s plans change at the last minute and he decided not to show.

        Can anybody tell me if there was any no-show penalty at all? Or is that TBD?

        Liked by 1 person

  4. JorgXMcKie says:

    Yeah, I don’t see any handles on the back so Instaskank can push him. I wonder how well you can roll those wheels by hand with Fakinson’s Eleventy!!1111!!!!?
    I spent a few weeks in a decent chair after a back problem. 200 pounds and in otherwise good shape and that was a real workout. Can’t imagine the Cabin Boy putting the effort. But $100+ [probably] for a photo op? Dude’s got a weird set of values. But then we already knew that.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Neal N. Bob says:

    Let’s see, Wheelchair the First and Rollie Walker were left in Maryland. Scooty-puff was probably sold off in Wisconsin as there was no mention of it that I can recall in Iowa. From what I understand, there was no PARKINSON’S-related limitation mentioned on the driver’s license that the Cabin Boy repeatedly said that he would never have again between 2010 and last year, when he made a miraculous laundry-inspired recovery.

    To the best of my memory, there were no oversharing photos or videos of Drunkenstein using anything to get himself around his apartment in the Milwaukee nunnery. The Scooty-Puff was abandoned in Wisconsin, where it doesn’t appear that any care for his condition was taken, other the changing his mind about buying said Scooty-Puff that he originally said that he didn’t need, but wanted because it was red. Vroom vroom! However, two lulzsuits were filed, one of them in another state, where he traveled unassisted at least twice, once to stalk Patrick Grady and file a police report against him.

    Again, there was no indication that he had any mechanical assistance – other than a car- in Iowa, where he was working for a (very short) time, sitting upright in a chair for three hours at a time without having to take a nap on the studio floor. There was no mention of his needing any of those things when he attempted to date, only that the women in question wanted nothing further to do with him because of course they didn’t.

    Also in Iowa, the land of the four-month lease, Broadway Bill the Very Private Person wanted to go on a 48 state sojourn, again without any assistance, but he had cancer then, which arguably could make one forget that one has Parkinson’s, particularly if one is drunk a good deal of the time. I’m also not aware of his mentioning any neurologist visits in Wisconsin or Iowa.

    The Diminished Capacity Kid then made at least two 1,000 mile solo round trips to South Carolina, which presumably required sitting upright without laying down every ten minutes because that would have made each trip three and a half years long. Upon arriving there as permanently as he lives anywhere; instead of taking care of his mobility needs, he filed another lulzsuit because of fucking course he did. I’d be worried about his health if he stopped being a litigious crank.

    It seems to me that just leaving the things you supposedly need for basic mobility behind isn’t the kind of thing that you do when you have a fixed income and a PROGRESSIVE DISEASE THAT NEVER GETS BETTER, ONLY WORSE.

    It is weird that Schmaleldt “confined to a wheelchair” in 2012-’14 (virtually no peace order or lulzsuit filing from that period failed to mention it), but as soon as Gail went to her eternal tick-tock (which also seems to have vanished), his health markedly improved.

    SGotCU was cooking, cleaning and mailing lulzuits until abut a month before she finally freed herself of her parasitic spouse. Then his health rallied for two whole years. Once he hooked up with Inflatamate, his condition deteriorated almost immediate.

    From that, I can only conclude that the cure for Parkinson’s is bachelorhood. Someone more scintifically-mind than I should alert the New England Journal of Medicine. It might save countless lives.

    My apologies for the wall of text.

    Liked by 12 people

    • Techno Jinxx says:

      Nice recap, pretty much hit all the highlights of Shakey’s countless lies about his health.

      Liked by 6 people

      • Neal N. Bob says:

        Oh, I almost forgot.

        By his own account, Drunkenstein’s magical chariot wasn’t junked because his medical condition precluded his driving anymore. Rather, it had “gone to Jesus” of its own accord,

        Liked by 6 people

    • This Other Latin F*cker says:

      One small quibble. The round trip, using the most direct route, from Clinton Iowa to Flophouse City Myrtle Beach SC and back is 2,170 miles, not 1,000. He sure has a lot of stamina for someone who is DYING from Stage 5 Gazillion Pakinsons.

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Boston Bob says:

    Is that a picture of the Crypt Keeper on his shirt?

    Liked by 2 people

  7. Neal N. Bob says:

    I like the gloves, too. The neon is a nice touch.

    It’s got to see that the muscle-wasting hasn’t impaired either his ability to self-propel 300 pounds of drunk and stupid OR his fashion sense.

    Liked by 4 people

    • Neal N. Bob says:

      That should read “It’s good to see that …”

      Liked by 3 people

      • Neal N. Bob says:

        I also remember a time when a DUMBFUCK;s Howard County neurologist told him that the stress of litigation was going to actually KILL him.

        Seven lulzsuits later, he’s still not dead. Maybe medical science isn’t all its cracked up to be.

        Liked by 8 people

  8. w says:

    Black socks with shorts is SUCH a Old-Man look.

    Liked by 3 people

  9. Hoosier Native says:

    A forklift would be a better fit for Dumbfuck.

    Liked by 3 people

  10. The 13th Duke of Wymbourne says:

    “Mobile Defecation Post” more like.

    Liked by 6 people

    • Dr_Mike says:

      There would be a string of green jelly beans in back if he meant that.

      I’m wondering how many ways he will misspell his own name with those “sporty” gloves, with “sporty” defined as “can sit up 10 minutes without rolling my useless ass anywhere.”

      Liked by 4 people

  11. Usually, a Mobile Command Post is brought out for a disaster.. wait…

    Liked by 5 people

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