That Precise Moment It Went Completely South


I’ve seen a lot of litigants say a lot of really, really dumb things over the years.  They’ve talked back to judges, acted out in court, made threats in front of witnesses, or just communicated abject stupidity in some form or another.  Usually, when or if the court becomes aware of what has been said, a rebuke is given and, lesson learned, the chastened offender backs off, at least for the moment.  It is rare, though, that some party’s statement makes it to the court’s attention that is so bad, so reflective of a twisted or sick mind, or so utterly contemptuous that it imperils the party’s prospects for achieving a desirable outcome in the case.

I saw one today.

Twitter All the fun

I am confident that this tweet will be seen by Judge Hecker before the end of trial this week and subsequently, and most damagingly, by the federal district court in South Carolina hearing The Oaf’s current LOLsuit.  I cannot believe that when these things happen they will not have, from Our Oaf’s point of view, extremely negative outcomes.  Let’s analyze.

“Why would I?

What an incredibly dumbass question!  Because you were ordered to by a court in a case where you were a party in a contempt proceeding?  Because you have significant exposure in a trial long and duly scheduled before that court?  Because your express request to be excused from in-person attendance was expressly and pointedly denied by that court?

“[South Carolina] is where all the FUN is gonna happen.

Oh?  What FUN might that be, Mr. Oaf?  Aren’t you pursuing a lawsuit there?  Do you think that it is “FUN” to do that?  Isn’t it a strong possibility that the judge presiding over your case there will in fact take a really dim view of your interesting method of forum selection- to deride and then ignore the proceeding you don’t prefer in favor of one in another place that would be more FUN?  You are going to get blasted over this, and you know it.  You have just given the Twitter equivalent of the middle-finger salute to the entire court system.

But let’s not ask me.  I’m a member of the Vast Zombie/Lickspittle Conspiracy, right1? Let’s see what Billy Sez about the Low-life Litigant’s tweet.

Well, welcome back to the Artisan Craft Blog. We don’t see much of you these days, although the smell tends to linger… Can we talk for a bit about The Oaf’s tweet today?

Billy Sez The best way to find out why 614x900

OK, and before we do, do you have any ground rules?

Billy Sez All I ask of my critics is 614x900

All right, and so did you really just send out a tweet that said, in sum, why would you attend trial in the Hoge litigation in Maryland when all the FUN was going to happen in your litigation with him in South Carolina?

Billy Sez You are on notice 614x900

On notice of something concerning The Oaf?  What would that be?

Billy Sez Some people don't know when 614x900

What do you think went through The Oaf’s mind about ten seconds after he hit the “send” button on that tweet?

Billy Sez His own words 614x900

Anything else?

Billy Sez Wrong Bad decision 614x900

Is that it?

Billy Sez Just how fucking stupid 614x900

Yeah, that sounds like a true and brutal self-assessment of the situation.  What do the other members of Team Kimberlin think about the tweet?

Billy Sez For some reason, the 614x900

What are your own thoughts about Twitter at this point?

Billy Sez Damn you Twitter 614x900

And Team Good Guys, I’m sure they are doing a lot of pointing, laughing and mocking right now.  Do you have any thoughts on the tweet in their regard?

Billy Sez That's so sad it's not even 614x900

What, mock their PLM or them mocking the tweet?

Billy Sez And why do you deserve an 614x900

Well, you started this discussion by writing res judicata into that order…

Billy Sez Fuck this I'm not gonna 614x900

OK, OK, calm down.  Do you think that there are any lessons The Oaf might learn from this situation?

Billy Sez How people let hate overrule 614x900

Yep, that’s a good one.  Any others?

Billy Sez Every problem the man ever had 614x900

Do you think that there might be some benefit from an intervention here?  I mean… others might have some better insight in these sorts of situations.

Billy Sez But I Am the Boss 614x900

So, I guess that’s one view of what happened.  Any last words before we close this out?

Billy Sez The more of this shit I 614x900

Uhh, isn’t that a little bit, err… delusional under the current circumstances?

Billy Sez Why would I plead diminished 614x900

Oh, we don’t know.  Just a sense…  But OK, if this didn’t happen as a result of “loss of executive function,” what is fair to say to you about the tweet?  You have the last word.

Billy Sez So go ahead and call 614x900

David Edgren


1 Even though… Oh, I give up. Come on, Bill. Try me.

This entry was posted in Really, Really Stupid and Evil, The Oaf, Twitter. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to That Precise Moment It Went Completely South

  1. I wonder how much mayonnaise he has to use when eating those words?

    Liked by 4 people

  2. wpdavidd says:

    “So, Mr. President, how did you learn about the Watergate break-in?”

    ” ‘I heard I through the grapevine….’ “

    Liked by 1 person

  3. And if the judge wants to authenticate the Tweet, I’m sure a phone call to the humble abode would work:
    Hecker: Schalafeledts? Is that you twittering about staying in South Carolina because it’s more fun?
    Schmalfeldt: I’m sorry, senior. Senior Schamfeldt is no en casa.

    Liked by 5 people

  4. D. Edgren says:

    I’ve found it amusing that The Oaf is always complaining that nobody quotes him accurately and that people posting snark about him hide behind anonymity, but when I post exactly what he says and over my real name it’s… crickets!

    Liked by 4 people

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s