OhmiGod! The Oaf’s PD is in free-fall! Huge deterioration in just four months! From driving! From holding a job! From being able to stand for more than 10 minutes at a time! From being able to be “on the air” for several hours a day speaking clearly and without choking up!
Well, we can start by suspending disbelief. Yeah, I know that wasn’t the answer he hopes to hear, but the following probably aren’t things he really wants to hear either.
Our Oaf wrote those things and posted them to the Internet, let’s see…
…on August 8, 2012. He also said in that post that he had suffered from Parkinson’s Disease at that point for twelve and a half years. Let’s see what else Billy Sez that’s relevant.
Oh wait, wrong one…
No, not that one either.
You know, there’s a school of thought in all this brou-ha-ha that contends, based on the evidence that’s out there, that Bill Schmalfeldt really doesn’t have Parkinson’s Disease. I’m not a doctor, so I’m not qualified to hold an opinion on this that anyone with a grain of sense should take seriously, but I know… heh… someone who plays a doctor on TV. Using some random quotes taken from around the Internet, let’s see what he has to say.
Doc, what is a “progressive” disease?
Man, that sounds pretty bad. Is Parkinson’s Disease progressive in nature?
“…worsen over time.” That sounds horrible, like having your life taken away by someone using a ratchet wrench that only turns in one direction. Is there any hope?
Well,
Death sounds pretty final. Once they’re gone, I guess those neurons don’t come back, do they?
Okay, okay. I made that last one up. See, I told you nobody should take me seriously.
Or him, either.
David Edgren
The Artisan Craft Blog -- Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey 
His actions over the past year would leave a reasonable person to believe that he does not have a progressive disease. Well maybe progressive stupidity.
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maybe?
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That last Billy Sez poster is ranked in my personal top 2 favorites. I’ll let you know when I figure out the other one.
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Always with the preening. As if anyone ever did.
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Mine starts with “You clever boys had me pegged.”
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C’mon PK….
It’s got to be the “walking into court and @_–$!*! myself.”
Even more appropo with the hearing coming up.
Tick, tock, Fatboy.
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Hey if “progressive disease” means “my disease gets worse with time,” then what does “progressive politics” mean?
Asking for a nutshuffling penis.
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You know, there are some odd things in that column that you have excerpted, David…
Then why, in this DMCA complaint that DUMBF*CK RACIST LYING MOTHERF*CKER BILL SCHMALFELDT filed just two short months ago (specifically on June 6, 2017)…
…does Bill Schmalfeldt, swearing under penalty of perjury, describes two of the pictures thusly:
1. “A selfie of me with a cigar and a glass of scotch;”
2. “A selfie of me in a black hat, red shirt, sunglasses, holding a glass of scotch.”
I thought he quit drinking?
IS THAT A LIE?
I thought he gave up cigars?
IS THAT ALSO A LIE?
Well, let’s have a look:
I’m not inclined to go looking right this second, but I’m sure the Vault is filled with other evidence, including video, photos, and text IN HIS OWN WORDS showing that he currently smokes cigars and drinks both Johnnie Walker Fear Pee Yellow Label as well as a nice bourbon (ALWAYS WITH THE BOURBON!), and has done so for at least a year, going back to those halcyon days among the lake-dwelling NINJANUNS.
He says he gave up driving in 2009 due to the progressive nature of his progressive disease, but in October 2016 he was caught out through tenacious investigative journalism as having acquired a Wisconsin driver’s license AND a 1999 Ford Explorer Sport with worn tires. He quickly admitted that “hey, guess what!?!? Muh Fakinson’s got better and I’m driving to Palatine, Illinois to stalk and harass Patrick Grady some more!”
And then after 6 months of “excellent driving” as Dustin Hoffman would have said in Rain Man, those tires failed and he blamed his white whale Patrick Grady again.
He also said “I cannot stand in one place for more than a few seconds without the strap muscles in my back trying to force me into a hunched over position.”
Well, let’s have a look:
Not much forced hunching as far as I can see. Seems like he’s standing tall and easy here, the Great Bloviating Gas Bag.
You’d think his eyes would be as brown as the stripes on his mom’s chairs, as full of shit as he is.
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