Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, start your doom clocks.
…no Brett, not you. You’re no gentleman, in any event.
The defendants in Our Oaf’s South Carolina lawsuit, hereinafter “Team Good Guys,” filed this morning their opening, and likely final salvo, in this misbegotten and doomed litigation.
And ain’t it, as they say down in Sath Cackalacky, a right purty thing. Sixteen pages of nuclear-level legal drafting, aimed at the heart of the Loathsome Litigant’s vulnerabilities.
But wait!, The Oaf cries…
…with that winning smile and lovable old coot demeanor. Like a steely-eyed missileman…
…a steely-eyed missileman suffering from Stage IV Parkinson’s Disease, anyway…
…The Oaf will certainly sit down at his keyboard, fire up1 his trusty Mac and bang out a response over the next 24 hours, right? Right?
I mean, he’s done it before. Remember all those times he’s impressed the court in the past with the swiftness and devastating impact of his responsive filings?
Hmmm. That’s funny, I didn’t hear anyone say anything either.
No. We already know what the Pusillanimous Plaintiff will do. We’ve seen it before, too. It’ll start when the motion arrives at his door delivered by a bona fide government employee…
We even have the photo from that Kodak moment.
“I will live to see him pay,” eh?
So it’s way more likely that Bill will curl up into a ball in some dark corner and worrah! worrah! worrah! for the next two weeks, coming up for air only long enough to fire off an angry tweet or three every day about how Team Good Guys are sneaky rotten bastards who have unfairly gained advantage by hiring a competent attorney as opposed to that ridiculous moron that he’s using.
Oh, wait…
David Edgren
1 “…fire up…” Heh! No arson threat here, folks. Move along. Move along.
Here’s my guess as to how the frog will jump:
Motion to Strike: you’re violating my 1st Amendment rights
Jurisdiction: the pain of the hideous defamation is always with me wherever I go. Plus I am a veteran with Parkinsons’s!
I’m widowed!
SLAPP: it only looks like that because I’m trying to get them to stop defaming me with their every word.
More detail: how much more detail can I give than I have already and Hoooooooooooooge has it all already and I will drag it out of him at discovery.
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He agreed to be served by email, so when he fried up the old mac and opened his email… oh to have been a fly on the wall.
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I had to laugh out loud when I got to the end.
That’s funny right there; I don’t care who you are.
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Incoherent sputtering to come.
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Followed by sputtering incoherence, just for good measure…
I’m going to have to connect with Mr. Nettles on LinkedIn…
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Basically Cabin Boy has already lost. His jurisdiction allegations fail. He can’t fix them and the rest of his “complaint” is unrepresented as well. It’s still hilarious that he wasted so many amendments on irrelevance.
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Those of us who have read the original complaint have actually suffered cognitive loss as a result. Hoge had to relearn Bell Inequalities, David Edgren forgot everything from his Contracts class in law school, and I have had to relearn the difference between homophones, homographs and homonyms. Krendler was unhurt, being a zombie. Sarah Palmer was fine, since she’s smarter than all of us.
It’s the price you pay.
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I read parts of it to my pet.
Now my dog don’t know “sit”.
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Well, when he read the motions, I’m betting that Edgren said out loud, “Hey, he forgot [REDATED] …. oooooh, he’s saving that one for later…..”
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My prediction is default. No, not the Maryland one, though I”m betting on default there too. Bill knows he can’t win his own lawsuit. I’m also betting he is too narcissistic to do the smart thing and dismiss with prejudice. So he’ll just ignore it and default. He can then claim his Parkinson Dementia Stage 5 million was to blame. Or the Recto Cranial swap they did at Vanderbilt. Can you imagine the humiliation of defaulting against Hoge in two different lawsuits in two different states? Bill might as well start wearing that skirt he has, change his name, and go into hiding.
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