I got this…

Well, Ladies and Gentlemen, start your doom clocks.

…no Brett, not you.  You’re no gentleman, in any event.

The defendants in Our Oaf’s South Carolina lawsuit, hereinafter “Team Good Guys,” filed this morning their opening, and likely final salvo, in this misbegotten and doomed litigation.

And ain’t it, as they say down in Sath Cackalacky, a right purty thing.  Sixteen pages of nuclear-level legal drafting, aimed at the heart of the Loathsome Litigant’s vulnerabilities.

But wait!, The Oaf cries…

…with that winning smile and lovable old coot demeanor.  Like a steely-eyed missileman…

…a steely-eyed missileman suffering from Stage IV Parkinson’s Disease, anyway…

…The Oaf will certainly sit down at his keyboard, fire up¹ his trusty Mac and bang out a response over the next 24 hours, right?  Right?

I mean, he’s done it before.  Remember all those times he’s impressed the court in the past with the swiftness and devastating impact of his responsive filings?

Hmmm.  That’s funny, I didn’t hear anyone say anything either.

No.  We already know what the Pusillanimous Plaintiff will do.  We’ve seen it before, too.  It’ll start when the motion arrives at his door delivered by a bona fide government employee…

We even have the photo from that Kodak moment.

“I will live to see him pay,” eh?

So it’s way more likely that Bill will curl up into a ball in some dark corner and worrah! worrah! worrah! for the next two weeks, coming up for air only long enough to fire off an angry tweet or three every day about how Team Good Guys are sneaky rotten bastards who have unfairly gained advantage by hiring a competent attorney as opposed to that ridiculous moron that he’s using.

Oh, wait…

David Edgren

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^{1 “…fire up…” Heh! No arson threat here, folks. Move along. Move along.}