Go Fund My Efforts to Evade Service

Medical Update: Mr. Schmalfeldt is not suffering from cancer.

“I just ducked a bullet. I was tested for esophageal cancer today and came back with a clean bill of health. Although I first conceived of this adventure while waiting to see if I had a deadly illness (and happy to learn that I do not) I would still like to take this trip with the hope of showing everyone that even in this day and age, we are all Americans with more to unite us than to divide us.”

I am glad to hear that we are all Americans. Some of us are Americans who produce and serve…while others attach themselves barnacle-like to the hull of America, hoping to catch a free ride. 



Bill Schmalfeldt has a gofundme page to get others to pay for a road trip:

Whatever the medical testing over the next two weeks comes up with, I’ve decided I would like to create a video tribute to the country I love, the nation I served in the military and as a civil servant. 

Apparently he now thinks he is very sick. After decades of claiming an incurable disease, he might be really, no kidding sick now. He might be, but since he has amazing powers of healing heretofore unknown to human kind, I think he might be okay.

Honestly, if a disease is inside his body, I feel badly for the disease.

I would like to raise $15,000 to fund a 35-day trip to videotape all of the state capitols in the lower 48. Your donation would be used to get video of these historic buildings, cities, and — if I can wrangle it — interviews with state officials.

If they Google him, they won’t be interviewed.

Meanwhile, John Hoge has some plans to get Bill Schmalfeldt some important paperwork:

See more here at Hogewash!.



In general, I try to give Schmalfeldt some level of respect — by simply taking him seriously as a news subject. He has suggested some silly things in his day — that Hoge is KILLING HIM!!11!!,  or that HOGE had something to do with Shmalfeldt’s wife’s death, or that Paul Krendler is…well, lots of people.

But to suggest that complete strangers but gas, hotels and fast food so that Bill Schmalfeldt can create a diary of the country he loves…

While evading service in a civil suit…

Keeping his address secret even from the court…


Update. From 2013:


The bottom left corner is most interesting. 

This is not the itinerary of someone who was immobile in 2013 from a disease which never gets better. Or someone who will ask a court to allow him to appear by Skype because travel is too difficult.



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27 Responses to Go Fund My Efforts to Evade Service

  1. crawford421 says:

    I spent some time reading GoFundMe’s terms of service. Interesting things in it about requiring a current address for the fund organizer, honoring court subpoenas, and that one reason they may hold onto the funds raised is a court order.

    They even provide a handy page to submit subpoenas!

    Liked by 5 people

  2. Kyle Kiernan says:

    48 state capitols in 35 days?

    Not even planning to stop in the parking lot are you? just zoom on by and take a quick shot out the window because that’s like 10 seconds of video per capitol and then back on the interstate.

    All that trucking experience and still doesn’t understand basic logistics or even time and space relationships.

    Liked by 6 people

  3. Techno Jinxx says:

    lets hope any/all who come across that particular gofundme page have the good sense to google him first.

    Liked by 4 people

  4. John “Minemyown” Doe says:

    All the symptoms he is talking about–but for the weight loss–are all symptoms or side effects of sleep apnea.

    Liked by 3 people

  5. Grace says:

    “But to suggest that complete strangers but gas, hotels and fast food so that Bill Schmalfeldt can create a diary of the country he loves…”

    GoFundMe? More like GoFeedMe. What a pathetic pig.


    “I would like to raise $15,000 to fund a 35-day trip to videotape all of the state capitols in the lower 48. Your donation would be used to get video of these historic buildings, cities, and — if I can wrangle it — interviews with state officials.”

    Um… yeah… there’s this thingy out there called the… um… the internet. I’d wager it has plenty of pictures and video of all of the state capitols on it, too. 🙄

    And he isn’t going to try, less more succeed, in “wrangling interviews with state officials.” Yeah… I’m sure state officials will be lining up and tripping all over themselves to adjust their schedules in order to be “interviewed” by a Deranged Cyberstalker who wants to *vroom vroom* all over the country (in 35 days! 😂) snapping pictures and taking video of historic buildings and whatnot.

    Bill Schmalfeldt… what a self-important, lying, scamming, delusional douchebag. *smh*

    Liked by 7 people

    • His rental rate is about right, though I’m not sure that Enterprise really expects a month and a half rental to end up with a year’s worth of mileage on it.

      But where does he think he’s buying gas? Even if he finds a vehicle which gets 30mpg (and that’s only going to be highway, he’s got to factor in the non-highway driving to get to those state houses, right?), that would be a minimum of 470 gallons. Now I know that CT has pretty high gas prices, but the lowest price around here would require $1100 for that much gas.And according to GasBuddy, there are quite a few states with even higher gas prices than ours. And with summer coming, gas prices are sure to only be going up…. Of course most SUVs don’t get 30mpg, they get 25 if you’re lucky, so now you’re looking at closer to 600 gallons.

      I don’t think he’s really thought this through, except as a way to avoid service and or convince a judge that he’s too ill to travel to a court hearing in Maryland.

      Liked by 5 people

      • Grace says:

        Yeah. He’s an idiot. Hubby and I own both a mid-size and a full-size SUV. On the highway, they get 23mpg and 18mpg, respectively.

        And, that fat pig won’t fit too well in a smaller one like a Rav which *may* average 30mpg on the highway.

        Liked by 3 people

      • We used to have an ’03 Santa Fe, and it did actually get about 26mpg with mostly highway driving. And then we had the Great Radiator Explosion and it never did better than 23 after that. I have no idea why a new radiator should give you worse mileage.

        Liked by 3 people

      • BusPassOffice says:

        The airspeed of a laden swallow…

        Liked by 2 people

    • Jeanette Victoria says:

      48 states in 35 days what the hell can anyone see in 35 days. You all can fund me the same amount of money and I will do it leisurely and bring back AWESOME photos! (and I don’t need a video camera I already have a pro camera)

      Liked by 4 people

  6. This Other Latin F*cker says:

    Remember when he couldn’t talk and couldn’t walk and leaving the house would KILL HIM? Good times, good times LMAO

    Liked by 6 people

  7. He does realize that Austin to Phoenix is over 1000 miles?

    Even doing a flat out 80mph that’s well over 12 hours, never mind stops for gas, food, etc

    Liked by 5 people

  8. BusPassOffice says:

    Fatman Podcast‏ @FatmanPodcast
    Wow! Two days in and I’ve already raised $25…

    as the pace to collect 15,000 is at a 3.5 year pace….

    Liked by 5 people

  9. I stopped by the SchmallyShack, and I see why he wants to get away [the terrifying mewing at all hours!] and why he needs an SUV for his road-trip [I didn’t know they came in packs that big!].

    Liked by 6 people

  10. BusPassOffice says:

    well brett, the exciting day three of pedo’s kids telethon, walk for humanatee fundraising efforts. we are still at 25 dollars. Bill, it’s not really 25, gofundscum takes a cool 8% so it’s really 23 dollars, or in the last 72 hours it’s about 30 cents an hour. I think that at this rate, there is a better chance Brett, that you will finally get out of jail in 2031 than Bill will get to 158 in donations…

    Gee thanks Neal, don’t you have a summons to dodge…

    Liked by 5 people

  11. Grace says:

    RE: “Medical Update: Mr. Schmalfeldt is not suffering from cancer.”

    Sooooo, before even one simple test was administered… the Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt self-diagnoses himself with a dreadful disease, and sets up a GoFundMe “fundraiser” hoping to find enough gullible people willing to give him their hard-earned money so he can stuff his fat face with fast food across 48 states… because cancer. *smh*

    When much more truthfully… all The Blob really needs is the self-control and self-discipline to make better dietary choices, lose 150+ pounds of blubber, slow down the rate and volume in which he crams food into his fat gob, and learn to chew.

    But, but, but… Parkinson’s Disease Stage Eleventy. #SSDD 🙄

    Bill Schmalfeldt has no shame. It is absolutely disgusting he is still leaving that “fundraiser” up. The reasons he is giving to attempt to justify his (never gonna happen) 48-State WhirlWind Tour of America are an absolute joke… lies. The Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt is the LAST person on the face of the Earth capable of sharing any type of successful message regarding unity of the citizenry and love of country.

    Bill Schmalfeldt hates. Period.

    It’s who he is… it’s all he has… HATE.


    “Bill Schmalfeldt is a disturbed freak, a twisted personification of narcissistic fury.”

    “Bill Schmalfeldt doesn’t have principles. Bill Schmalfeldt doesn’t have values. Bill Schmalfeldt doesn’t have beliefs. Bill Schmalfeldt has enemies, and then nothing, a black and dank and empty void of sullenness.”

    “True Threats, True Incitement, Or Truly Crazy? The Rhetoric of Deranged Cyberstalker Bill Schmalfeldt” – Ken White/Popehat (August 6, 2013)


    Liked by 2 people

    • John “Minemyown” Doe says:

      I have always wondered why when he went back in the Navy he was allowed to reenlist as a “Journalist” at that time Hospital corpsman were in short supply and getting big bonus to reenlist. Maybe his skills as a Hospital corpsman were not held in high esteem.

      Liked by 2 people

      • lorddewclaw says:

        Being a Navy guy, my guess is that he burned all his bridges in the Corpsman community (sound familiar) and the only way they would let his gold bricking worthless ass back in was if he changed rates.

        If you are a worthless turd, word gets around the fleet pretty fast.

        Liked by 2 people

      • My expectation has always been ‘recruiter desperation to meet quota.’


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