Bill Schmalfeldt


From Bill’s blog:

Friendly Advice.png

Friendly Advice 2

Friendly Advice 3





This follows a familiar pattern of Schmalfeldtian Communication:

  • A vague threat of additional action which is so terrible that even Bill hesitates to use it. It shocks even Bill that an option so terrific, yet horrible is available
  • New demands.  Here are his terms.  No more frizbees in the yard.  No more mean things sent to him in private.  No more private information (like home addresses?  like allegations of child abuse?) on blogs.
  • Weird – nearly sexual metaphors. Make the royal jelly?  One arrow in the quiver?  Wash the keyboard afterwards. Don’t forget the mouse.
  •  Irony.  Bill demands that no one contact him by Twitter or other means he “did not go out looking for…”  Odd statement from a guy who couldn’t stop Tweeting to John Hoge even after a court told him to stop.  Oh, and Bill recently emailed me to ask for my real life home address.  But he demands no contact.

I don’t ever create those funny cartoon with Hitler in the bunker, but if I did Hitler would be demanding that the Allied forces stay out of Berlin…or there would be unleashed a furious fury such has not been unleashed for fear of it’s mighty fury!

And then he look down and tell his generals: Everybody who has heard this before, leave now.



Bill Schmalfeldt is an internet author, attempted comedian and frequent blog creator.  The only reason he is not more famous is that he has failed to gather an audience for his material.  He is being sued for breaking an agreement with John Hoge regarding copyright. He has filed lawsuits to shut people up.  His off the chart bullying is newsworthy. Commentary on his actions, that’s protected opinion.  Reviews of his writing, and republishing of his rants is fair use.

In the case of this blog post, we are forced to reproduce all he has written for two reasons.

First, my commentary could not be fair without the entire text of the Schmalfeldt post. I don’t usually reproduce all that he said.  

Second,  his personal blog changes locations faster than the casual reader can keep up with.  His only reliable source of readership is on the blogs which follow him — and document the silliness.  

That will not stop.  Whatever arrow is in the quiver, nobody is quivering. 

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25 Responses to Bill Schmalfeldt

  1. Dianna says:

    I have not forgotten that he threatened to publish my address, house pictures, my phone numbers, “the works”. I shan’t forget, or forgive, his frivolously suing my employer. I am not vengeful, but I don’t discount experience, and I keep an exact tally.

    So shut up and go away, and maybe, if you are very lucky, you will merely be forgotten.

    Phone train.

    Liked by 12 people

  2. I have not forgotten that he did publish my address, in a book that is still publicly available, along with all the libel contained in it of me and others. I have not forgotten that he published a poorly “obscured” photo of my daughter while accusing me by name and address of abusing her. I have not forgotten that he named me in two lawsuits. There are three people in the world who I wouldn’t save from falling under a bus, and he is one of them. Unlike the other two, I’d be quite tempted to give him a small push just to make sure. Vengeance may be the Lord’s, but in Bill’s case, I will happily be His instrument.

    Bill should be praying hard that I don’t come into a large sum of excess money before he dies, because I can think of few things that would give me more pleasure than hiring a pit bull lawyer to destroy him. (OK, a daily visit with a massage therapist, a jacuzzi, and a housekeeper would be good uses too, but after that. The lawyer’s updates would give me something to chuckle about in the jacuzzi.)

    Yes, I can carry a grudge with the best of them. 😀

    Liked by 9 people

  3. Paul Krendler says:

    I’m never very much afraid of the arrow in the quiver.The wise man never is.

    It’s the arrow that’s drawn, nocked, pulled to full tension and pointed at the back of your head that you should fear. Mostly because, if it’s pointed at the BACK of your head, you don’t even know it’s there.

    Liked by 5 people

    • Accipe remedium, Tremule! says:

      DEATH THREAT!!!!!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ELEVENTY!!!!!

      Liked by 6 people

    • gmhowell says:

      But the arrow in quest is more of a ‘bolt’, hasn’t been fired in years, and probably (provably, but not by me) not been ‘ready to fire’ since that fateful night in Japan.

      On Tue, Aug 9, 2016 at 12:46 PM, Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog wrote:

      > Paul Krendler commented: “I’m never very much afraid of the arrow in the > quiver.The wise man never is. It’s the arrow that’s drawn, nocked, pulled > to full tension and pointed at the back of your head that you should fear. > Mostly because, if it’s pointed at the BACK of your he” >

      Liked by 4 people

  4. one handle and stick to it says:

    So, um, what’s the Munko threatening to do? Piss his pants again?

    Liked by 3 people

  5. agiledog says:

    He is an impotent, incompetent, and terrible liar. His arrow in his quiver is no more threatening than a Nerf dart. I am sure he made a big enough pain-in-the-ass of himself with the local police that they told him to shut up and go away, in no uncertain terms, and this last arrow of DOOM is his attempt to forestall further PLM. And it won’t work.

    Like Diana and LG, I have not forgotten, nor do I forgive, his filing false reports of crimes against me, his harassing and embarrassing my wife, his threatening to take or ruin her business, and his harassment of me in my home with his phone calls and emails. My next figurative bullet for him is locked and loaded, just waiting for the proper moment. Maybe right after the Maryland judge finds him in default for missing the hearing…..

    Liked by 5 people

  6. Gus Bailey says:

    Please pardon my use of the Thesaurus, but; I am chagrined.

    It is clear that Bill has made a bed of nettles for himself; and rails at the world when they sting. It wounds me that in just this one post we have four people tell stories of how Bill has caused them grief. Bill often asks that we point to someone whom he has harmed. I think these folks are pretty good exemplars.

    Liked by 9 people

    • Ah, but we don’t count in his pretendy-land version of reality because we are all nasty RWNJs. /sarc

      We’ve pointed out that he’s hurt us before, and he’s actually come flat out and said we don’t count because we attacked him first after he harassed us or our friends so we had it coming, and how about someone else? So we mention people like AD’s wife and Mrs. Causey, and he assures us that they don’t count because they were aiding and abetting their spouses in their vile criminal butthurting. And so on, and so on. He always has an excuse.

      I honestly can’t think of anything which could happen to him that would be so awful I wouldn’t feel he deserved it.

      Liked by 6 people

  7. Bill has responded by email. I’m going to post tonight or tomorrow morning.

    Liked by 5 people

  8. Sam says:

    So…he’s threatening to declare “War!” If anyone crosses the line…but didn’t he declare “War!” A while back? Did he declare “Disorganized retreat!” Followed by “Abject surrender!” And we missed it?

    Liked by 4 people

  9. Pingback: Bill Schmalfeldt, Again | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

  10. Pingback: Will Bill Schmalfeldt Apologize? | Dave Alexander & Company with David Edgren and Gus Bailey – The Artisan Craft Blog

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