Background: A letter which Bill Schmalfeldt maintains is a forgery was somehow sent to John Hoge in January of 2015. It was postmarked near Bill Schmalfeldt’s old address. Schmalfeldt maintains that someone mailed the letter to George Howell, who lives in Maryland, so that it could be mailed to Hoge with the appropriate postmark. A recent Hogewash! story about this is here. A Dave Alexander and Company story is here. — Dave
I’m not really into hiding my internet identity much. Two years or so ago, Bill Schmalfeldt put two and two together and came up with the correct answer for a change. Probably by clicking on a linked profile. Then, last year, I told Krendler that I lived in MD. Pretty obvious to anyone paying attention. The pilot of the Scootypuff of Derp (irVV) decided this implicated me in the vast right wing conspiracy to slime a nobody. Given that I have a family, stable employment, and a non-federally subsidized roof over my head, Shakes thinks I’m an easy target with info he wants. Captain Billy thinks I will be Queequeg and/or Ishmael in his quest to get Krendler (ironically, Bill is the white whale in this). He thinks this is how to convince someone to join his cause. — George Howell
Bill Schmalfedt recently sent me an email requesting that I cooperate in his search for the identity of Paul Krendler. Bold text is from his letter. Let’s break it down:
George. This is a one time offer.
Or second. Or third. Or fourth. All depends on how you count, but it’s more than one. We did this last year. [And Bill tried this same strategy with me, also. — Dave]
The Cook County Sheriff’s Office IS INVESTIGATING the forgery of the letter that Hoge introduced into evidence saying that I contacted him.
Cook County? Illinois? Yeah, I passed through the area eight years ago. What’s the matter, Bill, no joy from Montgomery Co. MD, Howard Co. MD, or the US Postal Inspectors? Because this almost exact sentence has appeared with these other agencies at various points in time.
YOU ARE ON RECORD as volunteering to deliver that letter for Patrick Grady. There is no escaping any of that. It is true, and you know it.
It’s nice that you’re trying to read between the lines, but let’s work on understanding the text before the subtext.
Now, I really don’t want to put a fella who just transported a letter that he knew was forged from Germantown to Howard County just to drop it in a mailbox. So the question you need to be thinking about is, how do you help yourself?
Help myself? Help myself do what? Oh, avoid a LULZ injury? Don’t worry, I do some stretches before reading your blather.
If you don’t think this is being investigated, I invite you to contact the Cook County Sheriff’s Office department of investigations at 773-674-2276.
And ask for whom? With what case number?
Then, consider your options.
I bet he misses the one I’ll take…
I will not ask for criminal charges against you if you reveal the conversation you and Patrick Grady had on January 3-4, 2015. I will need copies of e-mails, which I will share with investigators.
He really doesn’t understand chain of custody, does he?
I also will not sue you in Federal Court for your participation in this enterprise. If you send the information that demonstrates you wish to wash your hands of this whole sordid mess, then you will have nothing to worry about.
What’s the tort? Where’s the proof?
1. Grady asked for one of his readers who lives within an hour of where I lived.
2. You volunteered.
3. Grady sent you an e-mail outlining the plan.
4. You agreed to participate in the conspiracy.
5. Grady mailed you the fabricated evidence.
6. You transported it to Howard County and mailed it to Hoge.
Only one of these statements could be construed as true. Or accurate.
Why should you do any jail time when you were just doing a favor for a friend?
Yes? Like the favor you did for your ‘most excellent friend’ by violating a seal on court documents?
But this is not going anywhere, George.
Holy shit, mark your calendars! Bill got something right. Of course, he meant a different interpretation of that text, but it can be interpreted as correct.
As the smallest cog in the machine, you would be well-served to share what you know.
Ok, ok, I give in. Here, for the world to see is what I know about the situation (archive it if you don’t trust it to stay around)…
Wait for it…
Bill, you’re a Munko Dancing DUMBFUCK with a peculiar fascination with the
handparts hindparts of young boys and men.
Or, you can go down the tubes with the rest of them.
Like I said last year when approached, you don’t need my input. Piss up a rope.
Drop me a line.
How’s this one: take the cure. — George Howell
And a walk back in time with Dave: