What I’ve Learned Lately


Thursday and Friday were important days.  Part two of my heart surgery — or as my cardiologist calls it,  ‘a new boat’ — went well.  I’ve learned a few things:

HEART

Dave’s Heart

  • You can do just fine with 95% heart blockage as long as you are consistently lazy.  Which is how you end up with that much blockage.
  • If someone offers you a “Foley,” turn it down.
  • Staying in bed all day isn’t fun if it is not optional.
  • I’m not 20 anymore.
  • Nurses will nickname you based upon where your surgery took place.  For a full day I was a “groin patient.”
  • Never turn down Valium or breath mints.
  • If you take off the computer operated blood pressure cuff, it will automatically inflate — then go “poof” as all the air escapes.
  • Nobody actually comes running when you disconnect your EKG to go to the bathroom.
  • No mater how hard you look for them, at least one EKG sticker will be stuck to you when you get home.
  • Every operation is minor surgery to the people who are not actually being operated on.
  • By the time you need heart work, half of all nurses appear to be twelve years old.

I’m doing fine.  I should be able to return to a regular schedule on Monday, although my doctor wants me to sit less and exercise more.  Jerk.

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12 Responses to What I’ve Learned Lately

  1. Jeanette Victoria says:

    Heh one of the first things I learned in nursing school was to remove a foly

    Liked by 1 person

  2. D. Edgren says:

    My best to you, partner.

    Oh, apropos of nothing, am I in your will?

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Can I have yer stereo, d00d?

    Like

  4. Freedom Costs says:

    Prayers for you and your family

    Like

  5. Dr_Mike says:

    Good luck.

    Like

  6. Gus Bailey says:

    Almighty God and heavenly Father, we give thee humble thanks because thou hast been graciously pleased to deliver from his sickness thy servant Dave, in whose behalf we bless and praise thy Name. Grant, O gracious Father, that he, through thy help, may live in this world according to thy will, and also be partaker of everlasting glory in the life to come; through Jesus Christ our Lord.
    Amen.

    Liked by 2 people

  7. This Other Latin F*cker says:

    Hey, thanks for not dying and all. Kinda nice that you’ll be sticking around.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Pablo says:

    Ain’t getting old grand?

    Liked by 1 person

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