Some environs of the ‘net are…

Like a sewer.  Stinky, smelly, foul, nasty, you know what I mean.  Any number of unspeakable things floating around in the gunk.  You’ll find trolls and other assorted monsters there, too.  They fit right in, but that doesn’t make encountering one anything less than a horrifying experience.

Henry Mayhew, a contemporary of Charles Dickens, wrote about some inhabitants of Victorian-era London who went into the city’s vast system of sewers looking for articles of value- lost rings, coins and other items that would wind up there after being parted from their owners.  These brave souls were called “toshers.”  While most lived lives that were utterly Hobbesian in quality, a very few were lucky.  Terry Pratchett wrote about one such tosher a couple of years ago in his novel “Dodger.”

I think looking for stuff in the sewers of the Internet is the modern day equivalent of toshing. Most days you just come back feeling like taking a long shower with plenty of strong soap near at hand. Every once in a while, though, if you are lucky, you will come up for air holding a prize. Here is just such a treasure from a particularly fetid corner of the bowels of the ‘net- something worth far more than its weight in gold to the right person. Let’s take a look.

160129 Blog Post

As a retired attorney, my ears always perk up when some half-witted clown starts playing with the third rail of the legal system- a court’s sense of its own dignity and importance. When a court issues an order, there is one proper thing to do if you take exception to it- take an appeal. Pointing at the court and laughing at it, especially if you are or could once again become subject to its jurisdiction, is not just poor form. It is like willfully heading through a door marked “Abandon hope all ye who enter here.” Openly flouting the order, say by making fun at the court’s expense, is even worse. Sooner or later the court will get around to picking up Dr. Thompson’s million pound shithammer and dealing with the offender. Courts take a really dim view institution-wise of people who screw with them.

So a court in, say, Reidsville, North Cackalacky

…oh, so much fun making fun of those shitferbrains people from the South, livin’ in them tornado-magnet mobile homes.  Their courts too…

that has just issued harassment protective orders to, say, one Sarah Palmer of said city along with her grandchild

…how stupid, how really, really stupid, how feckless and dumb do you have to be to have a toddler granted an order of protection against you???

is probably going to be very, very unhappy to find out that the person against whom it issued Palmer and her grandchild an order protecting them from further harassment, on learning about the entry of the order, responded by engaging in further harassment.


Now, this isn’t legal advice, it’s just my opinion. Worth what it costs you to read it here, probably wrong, all that. But if I were Sarah Palmer of Reidsville, North Carolina, I’d hike down to the court one more time and fill out new protective order applications for herself and her grandchild. I (remember, we’re talking about what I would do, not what anyone else should do) would attach to the application two things- a copy of the blog post that contained the above-depicted excerpt and a copy of one of the Internet posts by the harasser where he makes it clear that he knows that the court entered the harassment orders. It might take a couple of weeks, service being what it is, but my bet is that the result would be well worth it. I imagine that the court would take a pretty jaundiced view of the harasser’s conduct under the circumstances.

But I wouldn’t let things come to rest there. After the North Carolina court entered its second set of orders I would take them and attach them, along with the first restraining orders and other helpful information, to a nice, succinct letter to the prosecutor in the harasser’s home state responsible for the jurisdiction where the harasser lives. The letter would ask that the harasser would be charged with criminal harassment and prosecuted. That’s the only way this madness is going to be brought to a stop.

Not bad for something found in a sewer, eh? Oh, and if anyone reading this would think I’m writing this about them…well hey, it’s not everyone who gets a court to adjudicate him or her as having harassed a three year old. But don’t let that get you all cocky…pride, after all, goeth before the big fall.

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24 Responses to Some environs of the ‘net are…

  1. monitor2112 says:

    Trying to tell people about the trolls encountered in this particular portion of the sewer is an enormous task as most people can not believe such an entity exists in the world and not just in the imagination of the person relating the activities of the troll.

    I would echo the words of wisdom coming from the author. Get it “officially” noticed, Then have it rammed down the throat of the…grr…never mind I promised myself I would not stoop to calling foul names…ok….violent imagery aside…truly take no prisoners…

    No more Mr. Niceguy should be the anthem of the day.

    h/t Alice Cooper

    Liked by 4 people

  2. Pissing off the courts is never a winning legal strategy.

    Liked by 3 people

  3. Neal N. Bob says:

    Some people become subject to the jurisdiction as a result of their own sheer, unbridled stupidity. And it happens over and over again, without learning from their idiot mistakes. It’s actually fun to watch..

    Liked by 3 people

  4. Neal N. Bob says:

    Oops, that should read “subject to the jurisdiction of an outside court”

    Liked by 2 people

  5. Dr. Dan says:

    Time to get out the Internet Vactor and clean out the sewer lines. (A Vactor is a truck-mounted sewer cleaner, which could be repurposed to help clear out those troublesome trolls living in the sewer lines…)

    Liked by 2 people

  6. Rob Crawford says:

    Last week I found a Pratchett book I hadn’t heard of before: “The Book of Poo”. It’s all about how sewage is handled in a Victorian setting. It’s the real-world example of a book Vimes reads to his son, who finds it the most hilarious book ever.

    Liked by 4 people

  7. Interesting that no note is made that the thing you found in the sewer was a parody of something written about ME from Paul Krendler’s blog. But I understand the game. It’s only bad when I do it. When Krendler or one of your confederates does it, it’s just fine. When I respond in kind, then I am true evil. Go look at Krendler’s blog. Then come back and tell me how evil I am.


    • Tao says:

      Mr. Schmalfeldt

      You remind me of a character made famous by Jackie Gleason – THE POOR SOUL.

      Riddle me this……who first took those pictures and then posted them on the Internet? Who posted them without copyright annotations?

      Sir, one of the first lessons any country boy learns is THAT THE MORE YOU STIR A BUCKET OF SHIT, THE WORSE IT SMELLS! After Googling your name and viewing the totality of the mess you have brought upon yourself, I would urge you to stop stirring the bucket and find other more healthy pursuits such as basket-weaving or coloring books than attacking and threatening small three year old girls and then losing to them in court!

      I’m sure your late wife would be so proud of you and the way that you have destroyed yourself. Perhaps the Sisters can suggest a therapist that can help you see that your selfishness is at the root of your problems. In my opinion, you desperately need serious professional help.

      Liked by 4 people

    • Techno Jinxx says:

      why is Stinky advertising such a nasty blog??

      He is the only person who posts links to it in the comment sections (of blogs he’s still allowed to comment at) after all.

      No member of the lickspittle zombie horde has posted so much as even ONE link, or even commented there, yet somehow Stinky thinks he can hang that site anywhere he chooses, rather than where it belongs.

      And we all know where that is don’t we Stinky??

      Liked by 2 people

    • theman9876 says:

      HOLY SHIT BILL!!!!!!!!!!!! No one believes Krenlder has anything to do with that site!! You FAILED again at attempting to “frame” a member of the Horde. How many such failures came before TurdsRBill.Blogspot.c0m??? You forgot the most important part of a blog……the comments. Plus, why on earth would he need another place to point out your daily failures? You really suck at EVERYTHING!!!!!

      If push comes to shove, I’m sure a couple of targeted subpoenas will show you, the midget or Bunnyboy are the authors.

      Liked by 4 people

    • Paul Krendler says:

      Interesting to note the difference between the parodies you mention.

      One is funny. The other is yours.

      Liked by 3 people

  8. JeffM says:

    I guess Ash is Krendler now. Krendler does a skit about Willie’s legal failure in North Carolina so Willie does a very similar skit about the person who succeeded in North Carolina. It makes little sense as parody even if Ask is Krendler, and no sense as parody if Ash is not Krendler. And regardless of its power as parody, David is quite right that it is witless legally.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Ashterah says:

      Oh great! I TOLD you guys that it wasn’t my turn to be Krendler for another two weeks, dammit! I have a COMISSION to finish! Gah!


    • Gus Bailey says:

      It’s really more like plagiarism; as there’s nothing substantially transformative about it that I can see. Oh, and parody is supposed to make a point.

      Liked by 1 person

  9. Sam says:

    Among the many tells Bill displays that make one assume he is behind the turdrfood webpage is that he reacts with ASTONISHED AMAZEMENT that anyone could even IMAGINE that he is responsible. Why, the very THOUGHT of it!

    You can often tell a person is guilty when they pretend that there is just no conceivable way they could be guilty, as though the situation is simply unprecedented.

    Liked by 3 people

    • Ashterah says:

      You mean unprecedented like publishing an anonymous book taking responsibility for being Krendler? That kind of unprecedence?

      Liked by 3 people

      • Sam says:

        That was a classic. What was amazing was how nobody fell for it and he kept doubling down, doubling down, like he just could not fathom how obvious it is when he lies. You could win a fortune off of Bill if you were playing poker with him and he had a fortune, only one of which is even a little bit likely.

        Liked by 1 person

  10. Pingback: All Your Copyrighted Images are Mine | Dave Alexander & Company with Ukuleledave and David Edgren — This is the original Artisan Craft Blog

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