Things Stuck to the Bottom of My Brain:

  • I have decided to swim from Corolla to Ocracoke on the Outer Banks of North Carolina to raise awareness about how dangerous it is to swim in the ocean.
  • You know sometimes I just say, ‘Sure, the hell with it.  Close all the tabs.”
  • If the world operated like computers, ever time you closed a door you’d have to save the room behind you.
  • Dunkin Donuts managed to deliberately misspell both words in their name.
  • People don’t actually dunk doughnuts.
  • A moment ago, I misspelled misspell.
  • The company that makes “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” should merge with “Helluva Good Cheese” to produce a product called “No Freakin’ Way this is Mayo.”
  • When I was a child, all of the pictures of me were taken “just to finish up the roll of film.”
  • If you run through the aisles yelling, “My Yuengling, my yuengling, won’t you play with my yuengling…” they won’t let you buy any more.
  • Who knew Harris Teeter has security?
  • Channing Tatum has the all-time girl name of all time.
  • Some women don’t need to put on makeup for exactly the same reason you don’t sprinkle salt on bacon.
  • I used to volunteer at a shelter for battered fish sticks.
  • Lizard Lick Towing is real, but NBC News is fake.  Huh.
  • Amish Tech Support is not very helpful.  They never pick up the phone.
  • When they do pick up, they immediately ask “are you sure the computer is unplugged?”
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

1 Response to Things Stuck to the Bottom of My Brain:

  1. Pingback: Saturday Morning Reruns and Funnies | Dave Alexander & Company — Ukuleledave and David Edgren

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s