The blog created by "Traderdave Alexander of WPTF Raleigh, NC.
Somehow this got started in my brain. With apologies to Jeff Foxworthy…
You might be a Redneck Christian…
If someone asks you about your faith and you say “I think Bobbie LeBonte’s gonna win Rockingham this year…”
If you have ever sung Amazing Grace to the tune of the Gilligan’s Island Theme or House of the Rising Sun.*
If your prison tattoo is John 3:16.
If you have ever worshipped in a double-wide sanctuary…
If this is your Senior Youth Group Travel Bus.
If you have ever killed and eaten something on a women’s retreat…
If you can only attend Bible study every other week because of the restraining order…
If you’ve ever made change in the collection plate. If you’ve ever needed help making change in the collection plate.
If you have ever taken the youth group shooting…
If every Christmas, when you hear about the three wise men traveling thousands of miles on three camels – it reminds you to stop off at the Quicky Mart for some smokes (you instinctively reach for the pack rolled up in your t-shirt sleeve.)
If the only bible verse you know by heart is printed on the back of the package of pork rinds.
When the choir sings “Oh Come Oh Come Emmanuel, it reminds you to order a new five speed tranny for the truck.
If you have no opinion about salvation by grace – but you tell people “Don’t get me started on restrictor plates…’
If your Christian video collection contains The Ten Commandments, The Last Supper and Roadhouse starring Patrick Swayze and Sam Elliott.
You might be a Redneck Christian.
Somebody in the house thinks I’m making fun of people. If I am, and you’re offended and you comment here, I will be happy to make an additional donation to my church this Sunday in your name. Please understand though, two or three of these things actually apply to me. - Dave
The Chenille Sisters sang Amazing Grace to the Gilligan’s Isle Theme in Oswego, NY at Harborfest a million years ago. They were amazing, and very sweet. You can reverse it, but singing the Gilligan Theme to the tune of Amazing Grace is too slow to be funny. I sang Silent Night w/ukulele at church, then used the same chords and notes for Amazing Grace. It fits pretty well.
One night I figured out that I could sing “Old Time Rock and Roll” by Bob Segar to the tune of “The Lady is a Tramp.” In the future, doctors will solve the mystery as to why I would even go there.
Update: Amazing Grace can also be sung to the tunes of Margaritaville and Old Time Rock and Roll.
Because after all, it’s all about me!
I teach children with special education needs. Over the last two years that has ment working in a YDC or Youth Developmental Center. Father Murphy’s Boystown it aint. State operated YDCs serve teenagers from 14 to 17 who have some experience with the juvenile justice system. That’s a nice way to say that they house young people who have some experience with breaking and entering, armed robbery and assault with a deadly weapon.
I have taken a new position at the state’s psychiatric hospital. I now teach children younger than 12 who have psychiatric disorders. It breaks my heart to even imagine that a 5 year old would need to go to a psychiatric hospital, but sometimes that happens.
I can’t talk about specific cases, or even tell much about my classroom, but I think I can get away with telling the lesson’s I learn. That’s what I’ll do here. Wish me luck!
- You know sometimes I just say, ‘Sure, the hell with it. Close all the tabs.”
- If the world operated like computers, ever time you closed a door you’d have to save the room behind you.
- Dunkin Donuts managed to deliberately misspell both words in their name.
- A moment ago, I misspelled misspell.
- The company that makes “I Can’t Believe It’s Not Butter” should merge with “Helluva Good Cheese” to produce a product called “No Freakin’ Way this is Mayo.”
- When I was a child, all of the pictures of me were taken ”just to finish up the roll of film.”
- If you run through the aisles yelling, “My Yuengling, my yuengling, won’t you play with my yuengling…” they won’t let you buy anymore.
- Who knew Harris Teeter has security?
- Channing Tatum has the all-time girl name of all time.
- Some women don’t need to put on makeup for exactly the same reason you don’t sprinkle salt on bacon.
- I used to volunteer at a shelter for battered fish sticks.
- Lizard Lick Towing is real, but NBC News is fake. Huh.
OK, Good Point, It’s all Pretty Much Dumb
I just found a very smart blog about the UFO phenomenon.
http://badufos.blogspot.com/ reports on the TV show ‘Chasing UFOs” on the National Geographic Channel. The show has the most ridiculous teaser video in the history of overblown reality TV.
There was a time when the History Channel had history, the channel that became Tru TV actually had shows with true things, and the name National Geographic stood for something. Hey, I’m writing here. Are you even reading this? Jeesh!
Update: Patterico has written a Reader’s Digest version of this story.
It seems that blogging has grown up the the point where people are starting to notice — and that’s not always the best thing. This new medium is being attacked by those whose names appear online. Sometimes there might be a reason to limit a bloggers writing — defamation, harassment, falsehoods or incitements to violence.
On the other hand, I’ve writing about blogger Aaron Walker and his struggles with convicted Speedway bomber Brett Kimberlin. In short, Walker wrote truthfully about Kimberlin’s past, encouraged others to do the same, and when Kimberlin took legal action Worthing wrote about that. Worthing was one of the group of people who were SWATTed, that is they were visited by police who thought a murder had been committed. The main connection between SWATTing victims was criticism of convicted Speedway bomber Brett Kimberlin or his associates. I’m not pointing fingers, just noting the amazing coincidences involved here. Go to http://patterico.com/or http://theothermccain.com/ for nearly daily updates. (I can never figure out that linking thing. Sometimes I have it; sometimes I don’t.)
It’s not hard for me to see the heroes and villains in that story. In some cases, it might be a tougher call. Still, the First Amendment allows truthful writing which does not encourage violence. Lawyers are free to correct me on the nuances of First Amendment law but I’ve been a reporter long enough to know that if you write the truth, and your subject is a public figure, you’re on solid ground.
Kimberlin has Worthing arrested, and the blogger was ordered to stop writing about Kimberlin. Eventually a competent judge overturned the order. Now Popehat reports about another case involving a woman who was charged in a hit and run:
Just as in the Walker case, a judge is restraining the blogger from writing about the subject of his previous stories; the judge also ordered previous writing pulled down from the blog. So, don’t write about this person, and burn your old articles.
Note to Judges: Read the First Amendment and the Supreme Court’s decision involving the Pentagon Papers. Bloggers might have the reputation of being pajama wearing amateurs, but they still retain the rights of all citizens.
Traderdave on Newsradio680 WPTF, ukuleledave and Dave Alexander are the same guy. Thanks for stopping by. Feel free to comment, lurk or link.
Everything here is the product of, or byproduct of the mind of Dave Alexander. Which explains a lot.
Alexander’s Law of Dissimilarities: Just because something reminds you of a past event, that doesn’t mean the situations are actually similar.
If every time I saw a priest with a cross I immediately thought of vampire hunters, it would be strange. But if I actually thought the priest was a vampire hunter, then that would be dumb. Things which remind you of other things are often unrelated.
I still occasionally see commentators on the left say things like,” This harkens back to the days of…” or “This reminds me of…” That’s just plain dumb thinking.
- Not every investigation is a witch hunt.
- Sometimes a loop of rope is not really a noose.
- Not every southern preacher is Jerry Falwell, though your inexperience with southern preachers might make you think that way.
- If I wear a toga to a party and it reminds you of the Klan, you’re the one with the problem, not me.
- The words “niggardly” and “niggling” don’t actually have anything to do with African-Americans. I wouldn’t use those words (except as an example of the Alexander’s Law of Dissimilarities) just because they sound too close to something else, but if someone does, they are not being racist.
- If you use the word “cracker” to indicate a baked treat, I won’t feel offended.
- If the Boy Scouts of America reminds you of the Hitler youth, you have to rethink your mindset.
- A well dressed, pretty conservative woman is NOT a brainwashed Stepford wife, even if they remind you of the movie.
In both of the above cases, someone looked at a group of kids singing about things they believe in, and immediatly thought “Hitler Youth.” One group of Obama fans, and another group of kids at a so-called “Jesus Camp.” I didn’t view the videos, because I only care about the reaction to the videos. This shows the intersection Godwin’s Law and Alexander’s Law of Dissimilarities.